Flat to Rent Vocabulary: Landlord from hell

If you are looking to rent a flat in London or the UK, here’s all the vocabulary you need and a story that you will probably find very interesting!

Last week a female prospective tenant went to view a flat in London and the guy who owned the flat (who she would be sharing with) seemed nice and everything was going smoothly. Then as she left the appointment, her future landlord gave her a list of house rules to look at before she made the final decision to move in agreed to sign a contract.

As you can see from the rules below, she decided NOT to go for it. In fact, she posted the rules online and the photos went viral, with over 1,000 retweets on twitter and over 4,000 comments about the nightmares of renting a flat, shared houses, landlords, tenants and flatmates.


Flat to Rent Vocabulary

prospective tenant
someone who is thinking about renting a flat
the owner of a flat that rents out the living space to other people
sign a contract
putting your signature/name on an official document to say that you agree with the details of the document. Slang version – “putting pen to paper”
people that live in the same flat as you. This does not definitely mean that they are your friends!
the money you pay in addition to the rent at the start of a renting contract. This is sometimes the cost of up to 4 months rent to cover any damges that you may cause in the flat.
vacate premises
to leave the flat
One month notice
If you plan on leaving, you have to tell the landlord about this one month before your leaving date.
money taken from you
15 pounds per hour
dogs, cats, birds, rabbits etc. Animals that live with you in your house
personal belongings
the things that are yours
communal areas
place that all people use… like bathroom, corridor, kitchen etc
dishes in the sink
after you have eaten, these are the dirty plates, knives, forks, glasses etc that you have used and have not cleaned/washed up
things that you use in the bathroom e.g. toilet roll, soap etc



1. No pork ever in the house or fridge

2. No visitors can stay over (unless discussed with me in advance and I will decide). If I catch anyone sneeking in, your deposit will be lost and you will need to vacate premises immediately)

3. Not more than 2 visits a month and visitors must be in your room and cannot stay the night unless discussed with me beforehand.

4. No using other people’s things (shampoo, hand wash or anything I buy – this will be charged to you)

5. One month notice to leave

6. Alcohol must be kept in room

7. Showers can not last longer than 15 mins in morning and evenings between 6am and 10am also between 7pm and 11pm)

8. Cooking must be no longer than 30 mins as other people will or might need to cook also after work and mornings, doors must be opened whilst cooking. (If doors are not open then a charge will be added to your rent for new wallpaper, as how I feel)

9. There is no living room included, only room. So if you sit in the kitchen area which is my personal living space you must eat then wash up and go back to room.

10. If I feel at any point you are abusing anything at all including
a) Electricity
b) Water
c) Gas
Or cleaning products, this will be deducted and added to next month’s rent and failing to pay will result in vacating premises immediately

11. Washing machine and dryer must be empty if not in use

12. If you do not clean after yourself, I will pay for a cleaner and she charges £15ph and I will get her in 2 hours a week and charge you at the end of the month. Failing to pay will result in vacating premises immediately.

13. If you break anything or stain carpet, this will be charged as how I feel, so please respect house

14. No pets allowed in house ever

15. No smoking in rooms otherwise deposit will be lost and you will need to vacate premises immediately

17. DO not leave personal belongings in communal areas. All belongings must be kept in rooms otherwise it will get thrown out as I will take it as junk

18. Stealing will result in deposit will be lost and you will need to vacate premises immediately and the police will get called.

19. Don’t leave dishes in the sink otherwise a charge of £15 will be added to rent.

20. Noisy people and rude people will get one chance to calm down and then if not deposit will be lost and you will need to vacate premises immediately

22. Never go into anyone else’s room. This will be looked on as theft deposit will be lost and you will need to vacate premises immediately and police will get called.

23. Every week £5 will need to go towards communal toiletries/toilet roll as how I feel.

24. NO food to be eaten in bedroom as if carpet or walls get dirty or messed up I charge for my time to evaluate and fix the issue and I am not cheap, so best you eat downstairs and sleep in room.

26. No parties, loud music or other excessive noise ever otherwise deposit will be lost and you will need to vacate premises immediately

Hope you enjoy your read and your stay – rules are here for a reason, so everyone lives without problems. Please speak to me if you have any problems.



Having been a landlord I wish I’d thought of those rules. My tenants with one exception were from hell.

For someone who has shared many flats/houses over the last 7 years, I can understand the point of view of the landlord. No party/music during the week days is important as some of us need to work and need a quiet space to get back to. But I still find that list too excessive

I agree with 90% of the rules.

I’ve lived with so many dkheads that this List doesn’t surprise me. Rules in a house share are important. This is a bit much though.

[poll id=’61’]


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