Heaven Picture this. A ten-day holiday, first to the sunny and relaxing English countryside and then on to beautiful, and again sunny, Italy. Ten days of seeing loving family, catching up with old mates, meeting new friends, walking in the hills, eating great food and drinking fine wine and tasty beer. And, above all, ten days of not having to work after a months of stress. A picture of perfection? Hell Maybe. I’ve just come back from that ten-day holiday and I feel about as fresh as a ten-day old piece of lettuce left out in that lovely sun. It seems ridiculous to complain about going on holiday but I am. Why? Well, now picture this.
- Deciding what to take – enough to last the holidays but not so much that it becomes too heavy – and then finding time to actually pack your bags and then also all the stuff a baby needs.
- Remembering all the little things: passport, cash, credit cards, print-outs of train bookings and plane boarding cards.
- Forgetting some of the little things: underpants, sim card.
- Long train journeys to get to a remote area of the English countryside and then expensive taxis to an even more remote area where there’s nothing but sheep and old people – lots of white hair.
- 100,000 distant family friends and relatives wanting to meet your newborn son at all times of day and night – stressful for him but even more stressful for me; at least he can’t understand what they’re saying and can cry if he wants.
- Sleeping in new beds and sharing a room with my newborn son who still hasn’t understood what nights are for.
Salvation It seems to me that really there is really only one main problem with going on holiday: going away is stressful. The solution then is simple, just stay at home. You don’t have to pack, remember things, travel, meet people you don’t want to see or sleep in strange rooms. All in all, you can actually relax. And think of all the time and money you can save! Suddenly you have time to read that book, go to that gallery and visit that museum. Now you can afford that new jacket or those expensive seats at the theatre. Or maybe you should go on an intensive language course somewhere vibrant, exciting and new...