“How do I learn real English?” is a common question that students often ask English teachers around the world. 
Well, the first thing to do is listen to some authentic, genuine English. That way you can learn lots of new vocabulary and hear English grammar being used in the real world – and not just hear or use English textbook language that is taken out of context. Here is some real English (below)! Last night Manchester United lost an important cup game of football. One Man Utd fan thought that it was such a disgrace, that he called 999 (the number for Police Emergencies in the UK) to try to get to speak to the ex manager, Sir Alec Ferguson. (there is a transcript below the audio to help you understand every word) On second thoughts, maybe you shouldn’t copy this real English – you can hear the SGI teachers in real, natural conversation podcasts here.
By the way – KNACKERED – means extremely tired.
REAL ENGLISH – by a drunk man
999 Woman: Hello, you’re through to the police. How can I help? Fan: Yeah could I speak to Sir Alex Ferguson, please? Please! 999: Not by a 999 line, I’m afraid, no. Fan: Sir Alex. The result is all wrong. They had extra time and it was a total and utter load of rubbish. 999: Sir, you’re actually on a 999 police line. Is there any crime you need to report to the police this evening? Fan: Yeah a crime. I’ll report a crime. Yeah. 999: And what crime is that? Fan: The crime is that Manchester United… Manchester United were absolutely knackered. 999: Can I take your name, please? And what’s your home address? OK. I’m going to clear the line, now then, OK? Fan: Yeah, can you call me back then? You must have… 999: No. Fan: Why not? 999: I’m not calling you back. This is not a police matter. Fan: Are you a police woman? 999: I’m not a police woman, no. I’m a member of police staff, but this is not a 999 matter. Fan: 999 matter, oh I see, right. OK then… 999: I’m gonna go now. Right. Goodbye. Fan: Yeah, bye bye. If you want to improve your English, even when you are drunk, think about booking some English lessons at SGI in London.
